Best of the Worst...Internet Quizzes

This is hopefully the first of an on-going series of lists about the "Best of the Worst" of things I think about. Since it's summer, I've had more free time than usual, and more free time means more useless quizzes on the internet. The following are quizzes that, while completely asinine, are nevertheless fun to take (and mock) on a lazy summer afternoon:

Best of the Worst...Internet Quizzes

1. Personality Disorder Test

Okay, I'm sure you all have heard of this one. Why pay a legitimate psychiatrist to diagnose your psychological disabilities when the internet can tell you for FREE! Gosh-darned if I know!

My result: Moderately Obsessive-Compulsive. I DO like to fold Reese's wrappers and straw wrappers in neat little squares.

2. Country Quiz

How well do you know geography? This is a "best" because it quizzes legitimate, useful knowledge about our globe. This is a "worst" because it's pretty boring.

My result: 6 of 10. I don't remember South America very well.

3. How well do you understand men?

Ladeez, I know you've been dying to know about this one. See how well you understand the mystifying language of men.

This quiz is brought to the internet populous by iVillage. As my sister says, this is a site for bored pregnant women. 'Nough said.

My result: Native speaker. Okay this was oddly satisfying, since I got the highest possible result. The only drawback was that I was completely guessing on all of them, so it MIGHT have been a fluke.

4. Which internet meme are you?

The only reason this made the list is because of my entirely upsetting result.

My result: I am a Chuck Norris joke. Sigh.

5. Am I pregnant quiz?

This is a link to one of MANY similar quizzes on the internet. If you’re relying on an internet quiz to tell you whether you’re pregnant, you’re either completely addicted or completely helpless.

My result: I hope you don't have to ask, though you probably will anyway.

6. Which kind of cookie are you?

I love cookies, but this result is just sad.

My result: I'm a jam cookie. I don't even know what a jam cookie IS.

7. Are you addicted to the internet?

If you’re reading this blog, the answer is YES.

But seriously, I feel it is always an interesting moment when a subject starts to become self-introspective like this. For example, I study Anthropology, and there are some anthropologists who study the anthropology of anthropology. I always feel like when this happens, the subject is one step closer to becoming self-aware. Kind of like Hal in 2001: A Space Odyssey. Maybe the internet is going to crawl out of our computers one day and destroy the universe, or maybe I watch too much sci-fi.

My favorite question from this is "Do you block out disturbing thoughts from your own life with soothing thoughts of the internet?" OMG! ALL the time! How does it know?

My result: I am not addicted to the internet! Hooray! Now I can write a blog about it! Oh, wait…

Thank you for watching! Tune in next (insert temporal unit) for the next installment of...

The Best and the Worst