AYO Technology, Part 1

This will not be a post about that 50 Cent and Justin Timberlake song that came out in 2007, though I do have a few thoughts about that first:

Okay, why is it that I can be totally addicted to a song which a) features scantily-clad, fawning women who go against everything good and feministy in which I believe (yes, I am a feminist, but that is another post for another time), b) glorifies technologically-advanced, eerie-ass peeping toms, and c) isn't even good? I just don't understand myself sometimes.

But back to the real point...

In the mail today I received a "wireless adapter" for my "desktop PC." (Read: thing that makes the interwebs go for my Big Computer.) Now my task is to "download the instructions from the CD-ROM" in order to "install the adapter to the motherboard." (Read: plug it in so the interwebs will go.)

Now, this is my first-ever project involving the innards of a computer. I am a technology nOOb whose boyfriend's brother was kind enough to build her an awesome machine made of glowy green things that come from the magical land of "New Egg." I am afraid.

It is time that the electronics industry started making products oriented toward us "literati," who are infinitely more comfortable with words than part numbers. While having my Big Computer built, I was responsible for ordering all of the necessary parts (a dangerous task for me, I know.) One of the things I bought was a video card named:

ASUSEAH4850 TOP/HTDI/512M Radeon HD 4850 512MB 256-bit GDDR3 PCI Express 2.0 x16 HDCP Ready CrossFire

I mean, how practical is it to type THAT into Google? (And don't you technogeeks even START to get snarky with some "cut and paste" nonsense.)

And since I've already mentioned it, let's examine the word "motherboard." That does not even begin to make sense. What do "mothers" and "boards" even have in common? I can't imagine anything less nurturing than a board, and a mother made of wood would just give splintery hugs. Let's re-write these words so that they make some sense, please. There's a reason hopeless people like me invented the term "technobabble."

Speaking of babbling, I suppose I should cease my stall tactics and try to hook this thing up. With any luck, my next post will be from the Big Computer (the current post being brought to you by Lappy).

Feel free to wish me luck! Just don't do it in binary.